This might seem fairly obvious, but the immediate family of the soon-to-be newlyweds should always be invited to the rehearsal dinner. This means parents, siblings, and grandparents. Your wedding symbolizes not only the joining of you and your soon-to-be spouse in marriage but also your families merging, as well.
This dinner is the perfect opportunity for some quality family time before your wedding, when no matter how hard you try, you won't have nearly as much time to spend with them. Here's where it gets a little ambiguous. By no means should you feel obligated to invite your aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. However, if your families are small and you only have perhaps two or three on each side whom you'd really love to join you, go for it.
Often, couples will invite their godparents, or closest extended family members to join them at this celebration before the celebration. Traditionally, all bridal party members should be invited to the rehearsal dinner.
Essentially, it's a must. Plus-ones, however, is where it gets tricky. Some etiquette experts suggest that if the bridal party member is invited to your wedding with a date, they should also be able to bring the date to the dinner party on your wedding eve. But given the more relaxed standards of modern times, other relatives, close friends, or even the couple themselves can plan and pay for the event. Whoever throws the party should definitely confer with the bride and groom to avoid any conflict with the theme, menu, or decorations of the wedding.
Only those who will actually take part in the rehearsal—the bride and groom, their parents, the officiant, the wedding party including any child attendants , and readers—plus their spouses or dates, need to be invited to the rehearsal itself and the festivities that follow. But the guest list for the dinner may be longer. You might want to include other family members such as grandparents and close friends, for example. And many couples invite their out-of-town guests as well, making the dinner into a welcoming party.
Written invitations are not required, but still it's a good idea to send them if more than just family will be attending; and the host should mail them right after the wedding invitations go out.
The invitations are not as formal as those for a wedding but can reflect its tone. Because it's typically the first time the bride and groom see most of their close friends and family together, the rehearsal dinner can feel like a reunion. For a more formal dinner, or one with a larger guest list, it helps to have a seating chart so people aren't at a loss about where to go when it's time for the meal to be served.
Furthermore, some members of the two families may be meeting for the first time, and relatives may not be acquainted with everyone in the wedding party. Encourage conversation by seating these people together if you're sure they'll be comfortable , or simply make a point of introducing them personally sometime during the evening.
Toasts are often a big part of the evening, and unlike those at the wedding reception, where the order may be well planned, rehearsal dinner toasts tend to be spontaneous.
In this intimate and casual setting, guests will often feel comfortable sharing their memories of the couple and wishing them well.
If the groom's parents are hosting, his father might begin by welcoming all the guests and offering a toast to the bride and groom. The father of the bride can stand next, followed by the attendants and any other guests who want to speak. During the toasts, the bride and groom have a chance to say a few words of thanks to all of the people taking part in the wedding.
This is also the traditional time for them to present gifts to the members of the wedding party and perhaps the parents to thank them for their support.
How formal should it be? The degree of formality is at the discretion of the hosts, but it should never exceed the formality of the actual wedding.
Where do we have it? Strive to keep it simple. Be creative, because anything goes as long as you and your guests are relaxed, comfortable and having a good time. Search form. Let Joy assist you with managing the details for your big day!
Planning a rehearsal dinner may sound stressful on top of wedding planning, but creating a wedding website with Joy can make planning much easier. Heather is a contributor for Joy. Find her on Twitter howveryheather. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Wedding Guests Wedding Planning. Beyond the bridal party, ring bearer, and flower girl, this includes: Readers Ushers People bringing up gifts Each individual should also receive a plus-one invitation out of courtesy.
The Officiant Earlier, we mentioned the officiant should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, as well. Etiquette for Plus One Invitations Kate Lerman, the owner and founder of Chicago Vintage Weddings , and her team plan dozens of luxury events each year, including weddings. Up Next: How to Plan Your Rehearsal Dinner with Joy Planning a rehearsal dinner may sound stressful on top of wedding planning, but creating a wedding website with Joy can make planning much easier.
Heather Taylor Heather is a contributor for Joy. You may also like. How to Make Your Wedding Inclusive.
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